Writers of the Revolution, November 10th

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(I know, I know, it is decidedly not the 10th. I'm sorry. We had a bit of a mixup. But hey, a WoR on Wednesday is better than no WoR at all, right? *ducks tomatoes*)

Featured WRITER

flummo

Featured by Solarune
I forgot that I was supposed to be writing a WoR feature until late this evening, and kind of panicked a bit at Carmalain7 on Skype, who, lovely as always, offered to search someone and came back a few minutes later saying: "what about this person?" I started reading her work and thought why haven't we featured her before, my goodness, because she writes like fire under the sea, or perhaps a sunrise breaking over it, because nothing about her words is muffled.
You can tell flummo is a beautiful person from the way she writes her deviation descriptions - every time she submits to the group, for example, she thinks about it, and promotes the piece she's critiqued and writes thoughtful, in-depth feedback questions... and this is something that translates across to her writing in a way that made me sit back and open my eyes. It has that fiery, youthful quality of hope that is so difficult to reproduce and so refreshing to come across. It's inarguably of the world and of the present, unfettered and alive, and perhaps it will teach you to love writing again, if you've lost the love of it recently. I know it has for me (twice!)

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Stay Dreaming
"all the fire you carry with you in the waking world is doused in the sweetness of your hair across the pillow & your frame insinuating itself in the sheets, in pockets of weight & pools of shadow that say "i am a body", "i am a girl" "

The gentle-harsh, stop-start, push-pull feel and images in Stay Dreaming tugged me in - like seeing two sides of the same coin, which is so true to how it is when you love someone in a way that comes from having known them your whole life. The writing pulls you around and breathless with its force, and the end is like a small epiphany.

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I Hold You In My Heart
"I have buried sparrows with
him, too-tall and big-boned.
He made me believe
and believe but sometimes
I forget that he
is still so much a boy.
"

This piece begins with one of the most poetic, beautiful addresses I have ever read, and from there tugs you into a whirlwind journey of love and separation. Although it's long, it is absolutely worth sticking with all the way to the end.

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A Rumor Of Summer
"The beam with the initials of generations
Left a nod over drowning in lead
Cancel out beatless carvings, heartless
We wanted color, and the boots fit
"

"Summer is not a season, it is a state of mind," quotes flummo in her deviation description, and her poem encapsulates this perfectly. It's quirky, jumpy and alive, pulling you into the parts of summer you see through someone else's eyes - it has all the transient beauty and regret of the season.

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Isaiah
"for it was you who said,
"go big or go home.
I will give you the world,
or nothing at all.
"

I don't know if flummo could write more eloquently than she does in Isaiah, with its broad, sweeping images and delicate declarations. How better to evoke the longing for and missing of a person than in her words: "but you are nowhere to be found / except in the silence"?


We :heart: flummo



Featured CRITIQUES
AbandonedAmbition

on Totems and Godhood by AzizrianDaoXrak
I don't think "giraffe" is the absolute best word to use; it confused me, and I had to re-read it several times to begin to understand what you were saying. You're right when you say that the image doesn't entirely fit, but I don't think you should scrap the entire section. Perhaps changing it to something more straightforward like "Watch as I become the pine," or if you feel that that is too simple, perhaps something more vague to allow the reader to naturally reach the true meaning, such as: "Watch as I petrify." The problem with giraffe is that it leads the reader away from the idea you are trying to convey.
[Read more here]



on dressed to the nines. by neonsquiggle
The first stanza needs a little work though, I feel, it's not up to the same standard. The start is good, but the section:

"your adjectives silhouetting
your lean frame against
the sunsets you love to spin."

is less effective or accessible than the rest (to me). I struggle to see adjectives providing a silhouette against a sunset, although as an important grammatical class in poetry I understand why you want to use it, especially if the poet described uses good ones. Maybe finding an alternative for "silhouetting your lean frame" would do it, something that describes how an adjective might look better? It's a tough ask, I know (and I realise you use 'lean' in there).

[Read more here]




Featured RESOURCES


The profile-form method of character creation is sometimes vilified, but it can be an extremely effective way of learning more about your characters (or just storing information about them) and Amriah's version is brilliantly comprehensive!
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A helpful and comprehensive piece on the poetic form of a villanelle. Well worth a read if you want to try it out!
How To Write A Villanelle In Its Many FormsWarning: Fixed Form Poetry Approaching
The villanelle is a fixed form of poetry originating from the French that has grown in popularity in the English language. Over the years, the traditional villanelle has been put to great use by many notable poets, including, Dylan Thomas, Sylvia Plath, Elizabeth Bishop, Edwin Arlington Robinson, Theodore Roethke, and Oscar Wilde (double villanelle in traditional). There are also many wonderful, more modern and progressive examples of the form by poets today, such as


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Sammur-amat's avatar
*Flummoxative is just adorable beyond words! :love: