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November 22, 2012
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Featured WRITER


Featured by ozzla
flawedfairytale is one of those deviants that are a treat to find. She caught my attention like that single card that falls out of a deck when your mind wanders while shuffling. All my focused efforts, or "shuffling" so to say, before that point to find an intriguing writer to feature had been a dismal failure. I can easily say that I am thankful for that because sometimes the unexpected is just what you are looking for. And boy was I not disappointed! Her pieces below stand out the most to me because of the verve in her words, making it obvious the passion behind her efforts to communicate the abstract that so easily elude the bounds of language.


the fifth seasonscratch blueprints into her bark,
her ground, her sea.
stumble amidst the tumbleweeds, born from the stomach of her wretched earth,
and witness her mothers' sweet decay
blossoming blossoming
far away.
where
broken legends renounce their life:
pray a solemn cry for regeneration.  
tear open the seal, rip open her soul- where
pages are left imprinted, just unread. breathe, and unravel
her lies
lies: her beautiful beautiful forged lies;
where
she's calling now, her vacant mind
a famine in the harvest;
where she's waiting now, a crisp frost
splintering through june, her letters
sown and scattered amongst the soil.
bury your heart, your soul, your sin.
she made your heart, a patchwork programmed-
she'll own your life:
and she's ready to begin.

The fifth season
"tear open the seal, rip open her soul- where
pages are left imprinted, just unread. breathe, and unravel
her lies
lies: her beautiful beautiful forged lies; "


In the present where we are bombarded by the media of images of environmental desolation, I love that here the world in its new age, the fifth season, regains control.


fields of innocencedo you remember when you'd ask me to hold your hand for
you a little while, whilst you ran and collected clovers from
the overgrown field. remember when i didn't like the
dandelions, because the seeds flew away as you padded
your feet back to me, and i cried because they were gone
even before they were alive.
but you said that the seeds were sown and will
make hundreds more, and when we return twenty
years from now, they'll surround our happy lives
and will mop up my leaked tears. i said that you were
silly, and that they needn't mop my tears because
when i lay with you and make shapes with the clouds
i have no reason to ever be upset again.
and when the clouds parted and all that was left was
the sky, you said it made the blueblue of forget-me-nots
and berries; that the sun and azure sky were little pipettes
that dropped into my eyes, fusing together and chipping a
sparkling emerald iris. you said that i was more wonderful
than you could ever imagine.
but i said it was the blue of bru

Fields of innocence
"the sky, you said it made the blueblue of forget-me-nots
and berries; that the sun and azure sky were little pipettes
that dropped into my eyes, fusing together and chipping a
sparkling emerald iris. "


Can you see the intensity that drew me to this writer? This piece gets even more interesting from here, showing how differently we can perceive our surroundings once we throw away ready-made phrases.


aphroditeclambering lips tumble over each other like
little deer stumbling into the headlights, where
blushing cupid's bows snap shut at the slightest
whisper of a touch; as summer's broken blossom
whistles into moss, suicidal and free-falling at a
twist of the wind, dripping through honeyed-hands and
trickling down wrists. words nuzzle breath, the air
staved of acoustics that choreograph faces closer; watching as
quivering eyes thrust new-born hope, where
restless hearts knock beneath a web of ribs,
screaming silently as bodies are poured into the
stitches of aphrodite's venomo(us) fly-trap.

Aphrodite
"twist of the wind, dripping through honeyed-hands and
trickling down wrists. words nuzzle breath, the air
staved of acoustics that choreograph faces closer;"


Love has been represented here in a curious manner, and combined with the moment of "A-ha!" in the final line, makes this relatively short piece one that you will not regret reading.


Honest LiesA delicate canvas adorned with a crimson tear;
her porcelain skin with an opaque veneer.
Sensibility corrupted, she was unable to resist;
strawberries and cream with a bitter-sweet twist.
An SOS call from lighting's vivid flare;
and the young girl's emotions finally laid bare.
Thunder ceased and liberated her disguise;
an open field for her forgotten cries.
A solemn expression and sunken sodden eyes;
she was blissfully unaware of his blatant lies.
Her tender heart abused, lost and not beating;
remaining an inanimate soul from his callous cheating.
Left broken and alone, betrayed and deceived;
she isn't to blame for what she received.
For her sensibility was corrupted, unable to resist;
strawberries and cream with a bitter-sweet twist.

Honest lies
"A delicate canvas adorned with a crimson tear;
her porcelain skin with an opaque veneer.
Sensibility corrupted, she was unable to resist;
strawberries and cream with a bitter-sweet twist. "


There was no way that I could resist reading this with that oxymoron of a title staring at me! Not only that, but the title also reflects the innocence of one's first love that the body of the text delves further into. Despite what the antagonist has done to this innocence with his lies, I sense that a yearning for this man remains.


We :heart: flawedfairytale





Featured CRITIQUES


on Dressed to the nines by neonsquiggle
There's not a lot I can offer in terms of improvement. It was very well-written. An idea, if you were up to it, might be to add a few more dimensions or layers. Right now we are just aware of how beautiful this writer is. If it is strictly a love poem, I understand you wouldn't want to change anything, but if you are trying to analyze the psyche of a writer, throwing in some negativity about what that means to counterbalance the narrator's infatuation would be stunning. Also, the last word stuck out a little to me. I think the stanza is great, but I might change handsome to something like intoxicating, or mesmerizing (if you don't like the intoxication connotation.)
[Read more here]



on Test Tube Mermaid by NiennaY
The action happened a bit too quickly near the beginning. You asked whether you need to improve upon Adam, and I do think so, but only to an extent. We don't need more about his appearence, but more about his emotions and motivations. In the beginning, the story is fast because the reader isn't given any information about why Adam approaches the room. Is Adam a good student, so he wanted to study where there was light? Did the light give him an eerie feeling? Was he too curious about the doctor's experiments? We need some motivation here and possibly some back story (if it helps). The reader will always be confused if they don't understand the main character's reasoning or motive.
[Read more here]





Featured RESOURCES


Even for those members who are not participating in this monthly keyboard pounding, I am sure that his laid back tone will completely puts you at ease on the matter of creating a realistic plot.



Feeling like your creativity is in a rut? Take a break and get inspired by this video. Summary: "collide" with the thoughts of another and you are sure to find something brilliant.

Add a Comment:
 
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2012   General Artist
Hooray for the inspirational and exceptional ~flawedfairytale! :love:
Reply
:iconozzla:
ozzla Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012   Writer
Awww, your support for WoR has been, and will always be much appreciated :glomp:
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2012   General Artist
As do I truly appreciate the effort each and every single admin puts in to making this group superincredible :tighthug:
Reply
:iconpietroschek:
Pietroschek Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
May your efforts be worthy and welcomed by a deserving audience!
Reply
:iconozzla:
ozzla Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012   Writer
I'm glad that you approve! I hope that she finds more people discovering her work and being as touched as I was :love:
Reply
:iconpietroschek:
Pietroschek Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Of course, no reason for proverbial bad blood here!
Reply
Add a Comment: